THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize