I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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