Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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