I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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