Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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