nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
