Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
