By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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