I could make wine with my vomit
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
