Dual....:-)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
