i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
