dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
