Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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