So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
