Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize