Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
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Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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