The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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