My friends, they love my intelligence
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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