i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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