If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
