erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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