Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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