hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
