Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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