I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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