we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
