Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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