When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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