Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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