Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
