i don't like sucking hair
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
