Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize