I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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