Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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