i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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