Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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