Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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