apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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