Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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