We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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