All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you win again, gameday.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
