You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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