People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
