i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can't turn off my feet"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
