are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
