Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
