Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
