i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize