Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
