I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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