I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
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He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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