I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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