We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
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Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
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did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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