I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
