somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
