he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs