I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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