It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
