do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high