I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!