and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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