I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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