for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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