Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize