She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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