I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
