so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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