nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
