I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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