Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
