like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
