we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize