Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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