I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
